I Don't Know How to Parent

Honestly, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 

Does anyone? Do any of you guys out there have the secret formula to parenting, because ya'll gotta help a sister out. 

I read all the parenting books, I've been through the guinea pig stages, I take each child as they come. 

Maddie is the sweetest. 

She sits with her friend at the peanut free table so she's not lonely, every day she has a new "gift" for me that she made at school, she is down to snuggle 24/7. 

But lately, she's been having a tough time. I'm not entirely sure what to do and it's been hard.

I try to think back on the older boys' tough times and each one had such hugely different phases and struggles that I'm not even sure if my knowledge from one kid can necessarily be applied to another. 

And to be frank, when you have this many kids, SOMEONE is always going through a phase. 

It's hard, if not impossible, to not get down on myself as a mother. 
Thoughts run through my head that it must be my fault. 

I must not being doing what I'm supposed to, maybe I'm not calm enough, maybe I am screwing this whole thing up. 

My old insecurities start surfacing and I start to doubt myself. 

Tomorrow is a new day. 
And hopefully no one will be acting insane. 

Ah motherhood. The scariest hood you'll ever go through. 

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